64: Finding Inner Gifts Through Story Work
With GG Renee Hill, Author + Creative Coach
Do you hold yourself back? In this episode, I talk with GG Renee Hill about finding your inner gifts through your personal stories and:
• Identifying how the internal narratives that you tell yourself can be both supportive and limiting
• Rewriting past stories to break limiting patterns and embrace your whole self
• Working through false internalized beliefs and reframe the feeling of being different as a strength
• Finding your own version of strong as a highly sensitive person
GG is a nationally recognized author, creative coach, and facilitator who guides people in discovering the power of storytelling as a pathway to self-discovery, empowerment, and meaningful contribution. Her mission is to help others enrich their lives and communities through the transformative power of the written word. She is the author of Self-Care Check-In: A Guided Journal to Build Healthy Habits and Devote Time to You (2020) and A Year of Self-Reflection Journal: 365 Days of Guided Prompts to Slow Down, Tune In, and Grow (2021). Her debut book of essays, Story Work: Field Notes on Self-Discovery and Reclaiming Your Narrative is available now from Broadleaf Books.
Keep in touch with GG:
• Website: http://allthemanylayers.com
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gina-gg-renee-hill-28686762
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ggreneewrites
Resources Mentioned:
• Story Work: Field Notes on Self-Discovery and Reclaiming Your Narrative by GG Renee Hill: https://bookshop.org/a/63892/9798889832652
Thanks for listening!
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This episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment with a mental health or medical professional. Some links are affiliate links. You are under no obligation to purchase any book, product or service. I am not responsible for the quality or satisfaction of any purchase.
Episode Transcript
GG Renee Hill: 0:00
Get really vivid with a creative vision for your life if you did not think that your sensitivity was a limitation, right? And let that vision evolve over time as you continue to feel your way into little incremental changes you can make over time to maybe bring that vision to life bit by bit.
April Snow: 0:22
Welcome to Sensitive Stories, the podcast for the people who live with hearts and eyes wide open. I'm your host, psychotherapist and author April Snow. I invite you to join me as I deep dive into rich conversations with fellow highly sensitive people that will inspire you to live a more fulfilling life as an HSP without all the overwhelm. In this episode, I talk with Gigi Renee Hill about rewriting the stories you have about yourself that say you're too sensitive to emotional or whatever other limiting belief you've heard and told yourself. And within that reframing, you find your inner gifts that are just hiding under the surface. Gigi shares her own story throughout the episode and walks us through an exercise from her new book to start looking inward. Gigi is a nationally recognized author, creative coach, and facilitator who guides people in discovering the power of storytelling as a pathway to self-discovery, empowerment, and meaningful contribution. Her mission is to help others enrich their lives and communities through the transformative power of the written word. She is the author of several books, including Story Work, Field Notes on Self-Discovery and Reclaiming Your Narrative, which is available now. For more HSP resources and to see behind the scenes video from the podcast, join me on Instagram, TikTok, or YouTube at Sensitive Strengths, or sign up for my email list. Links are in the show notes and at sensitivestories.com. And just a reminder that this episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment with a mental health or medical professional. Let's dive in.
GG Renee Hill: 2:26
Hi, April. I'm so happy to be here. Thanks for having me today.
April Snow: 2:30
Yeah, of course. I'm wondering if you could start off by sharing your HSP discovery story. How or when you realize that you're highly sensitive?
GG Renee Hill: 2:40
Sure. It wasn't until my late, I guess it was like the late 2010s. It was through Dr. Elaine Aaron's work. Just to go back a little bit, when I was a little girl, I knew that I was sensitive. But so when you're first when you're a child, you don't label it as that. You know, I knew that I felt things deeply. I knew that like music and dance and art were things that I felt really, really deeply. I knew when I was sad, I was super sad that I felt for everybody all the time. I remember sitting on my grandma's floor because my grandma would always watch the news. And so there was always sad stories, and I felt them so deeply. So these were things I'm kind of aware of. And then as you get older, people start telling you you're too sensitive, right? You start hearing it. And like you're so sensitive, or you know, you're always crying, or you're too so that becomes a narrative in your head. And then for me, and I know we'll talk about this a bit more later, I started to associate this thing that I now know as sensitivity as like, maybe there's something wrong with me. Like, why do I feel things so much? And part of that might have been because my mother had an undiagnosed mental illness, and I knew she displayed behaviors and things that were strange and out of the ordinary. So as a child, we just start trying to put things together when adults don't explain things to us. So I thought, well, maybe there's something wrong with my brain too. And I started like seeing all my sensitive qualities as evidence of that. So all of this stuff shaped me. And then finally, when I was an adult and really started kind of going on my self-discovery journey and trying to get to know myself, first I was like, ah, okay, I'm an introvert. I really just need, you know, first it was that. It was like, oh, okay, I started studying introversion and seeing aspects of myself that kind of started connecting dots, but it wasn't until Dr. Elaine Aaron's work that I was like, oh, it's not just me, right? Yes. It really helped me to understand how I'm wired and that there are so many beautiful strengths to it, which I kind of knew but wasn't really embracing just yet. And I just it sent me definitely on a deeper journey of understanding myself as just a unique individual who has these different characteristics and that I could learn to look at them in a positive way if I choose to.
April Snow: 5:17
Oh, I think that's a beautiful thing. Yeah, when we're younger, at first we don't have any language or words for it, but we do notice, oh, there's something different about me. I feel differently, I respond differently to the world. And how do I make sense of that? And I also too found introversion first and then was like, this isn't the whole puzzle. Let me keep looking. And then you're like, oh, there's more to it. And it makes sense that you know you might have seen some overlaps with your mom's struggles with mental health, but realizing like, okay, maybe that doesn't fit completely. There's probably more to it when there's that trait at the core of your experiences.
GG Renee Hill: 5:57
Yeah, yeah. I bet I from talking to family members, I get that my mom was sensitive too, right? Like as a child, she was sensitive. She was, she loved to curl up with her books like I did. Like there's a lot of similarities there. And I think that when you are highly sensitive, it can, and this I'm not speaking from a therapeutic or scientific perspective, saying this just from my own observations about life, that when you are highly sensitive, you really have to take care of your mental health because you're so permeable and to your environment, to trauma. So, you know, I have my thoughts and my theories about um my mom's life and how, you know, it maybe went the way it did without any intervention or like awareness of mental health and self-care growing up in her generation.
April Snow: 6:45
Yeah. It's so true that you know, we really do need to care for our mental health as HSPs because we are more susceptible to stress, to trauma, to, you know, being under resource, whatever it is. And yeah, a lot of sensitive people do struggle because they first off, they don't know that they're highly sensitive and they don't know what they need, or they're not given permission or space, or they don't have the resources to take care of themselves in the right way. And then that can manifest as other struggles. As you saw in your mom, we see that a lot in our community. But yeah, thankfully they're we're starting to have some conversations around it. I think we're in the very infant stages of it, but you know, even just conversations like this, highlighting the importance of it is so important. You've talked about being permeable, feeling for everyone, you know, feeling different. You know, there's lots of stories we carry around, we tell ourselves about who we are, how we are, before and after we realize that we're highly sensitive. I'm wondering if there are other examples of stories that HSPs might be holding on to. There's so many, right?
GG Renee Hill: 7:49
Like I can speak to some of mine, and just also from being in community with people, things that I've picked up from others that I big time related to is like just feeling like you are too fragile for certain experiences or endeavors, like, okay, I can't control my emotions enough to do this, go maybe go for this job, right? Or go on this trip. I've felt like it's just gonna, everything's gonna overwhelm you. Thinking that you have to pretend a bit and mask yourself to fit in, and that it's not really safe to show your true self. There's so many ways that we feel othered that we feel like we have to hide, thinking that you know, that I'm too idealistic or I'm too naive. I can't be direct, I can't be decisive, I can't, you know, I'm not as strong as other people. I mean, there's so there's so many that can keep us in a box. And there's some consideration in all of them. Yes, we do have to consider that we have some authentic needs there that, or I should say, like unique needs there that we do need to cater to and understand. But I think that there's also some narratives that as an empowered HSP, you can learn, and we'll talk more about that, I'm sure, that you can start to say, okay, well, yes, my emotions are very strong, or yes, I, you know, have this deep empathy for other people, but how can I manage that and find the strengths that come from that? And so that I can go into, I don't have to make my life smaller because of this, right?
April Snow: 9:35
Yes, exactly. You oftentimes I think we see those unique needs as limitations and as a like a permanent story that, oh, because I got overwhelmed this time or because I was more stressed in this environment or in this situation, I can't do anything. I need to pull myself back. But you're saying there's more to the story, we can empower ourselves. Yes, absolutely.
GG Renee Hill: 10:00
And there it requires for me, it required distancing myself a little bit from societal narratives, from what I had absorbed over time from my environment and from a lot of some people not so well-meaning, but some really well-meaning folks, right? Who just wanted me to worry about me or you know, wanted to protect me. But you start to absorb those limitations that they place on you and to think that that's just well, this is just my story. This is just kind of what I have to deal with. And, you know, in the black community, there's this stereotype of how a strong black woman should be, how she should act, how she should show up, how she should handle if somebody crosses her boundaries. And, you know, I thought I just needed this thicker skin. And if I didn't have it really organically, I had to pretend that I did. So that caused a lot of turmoil for me and just feeling like I was performing and acting outside of myself. Like if someone did cross my boundaries or I was upset or I was angry, I didn't know what to do with anger. Like I have always had an issue with anger because I think I just suppressed it so much as a child, and then growing up and just like I felt like I needed to. People were always telling me, well, you shouldn't have let that happen, or you shouldn't have let that person speak to you that way, or you need to respond like this. So I would imitate how other people responded to anger or like looking tough, or I didn't want people to take advantage of me. So I felt like I had to behave a certain way and act out a certain way. And it never felt right. It never felt like this is me, but I didn't know what I wanted, what was true to me. How do I express anger? How do I express a boundary without feeling mean or like you know, just like this whole nice girl persona that I felt like it goes so deep, Abraham? It goes so deep because it's like it was genuine. I am a genuinely kind person who always thinks about if someone does do me wrong, I'm always thinking about, well, how did they get that way? And like it's not really, you know, oh, we're just all trying our best. And some people just didn't have it. I make excuses for people. So it's like it became like this overcorrection of like one extreme to the other. One, I'm like fawning and being a doormat, and the other extreme is I'm like acting out, throwing things, not knowing how to handle my anger. So it was just like a roller coaster for a long time, just trying to figure out what's authentic to me.
April Snow: 12:53
Mm-hmm. It's hard because you said you were wearing that mask, yeah, doing what society expects of you. And this is a story I've heard from a lot of black sensitive women, which is wear the thick skin, be tough, you know, push beyond your needs and ignore your softer sides, your sensitive side. Um I'm really I feel really excited about you saying I'm stepping out of these societal norms, these expectations. How has that been for you? Has it been easy?
GG Renee Hill: 13:24
Has it been a challenge? It's been a challenge. It's been a lot of awkward moments. Trying to experiment with new ways of responding to situations. I think that it's interesting that there's now more of a societal shift towards like in social media, you'll see a cult like the soft life, right? And like, you know, embracing self-care and getting in touch with your feminine and all of this. But slightly before that, I was grappling with that, right? I was at the part of my journey where I was like, okay, this thick-skinned, strong black woman persona is not authentic to me. What is my version of strong? What is my version of being a well-boundaried, kind, but not just like nice, good girl, but still, you know, kind, but direct and protecting my boundaries. What does that look like for me? So it takes a lot of experimentation. And there's a lot of awkward moments where dynamics you have in certain relationships, how you would normally respond, you're trying out new ways of responding and you don't really know what to say or do yet that feels right. So you say awkward things, you sometimes get tongue-tied, or you just behave sort of in a way that you feel it's more uncomfortable before it gets comfortable again, right? Yeah. It changes your relationships, and that can be really scary and unsettling. There are people who benefit from you being so nice all the time and so sensitive. And like I was so, and I'm still working on this, I'll always be working on my conflict avoidance. I hate conflict. And before I would literally betray myself to avoid conflict, like whatever I needed to do to keep the peace, to avoid the argument, to avoid the displeasure of someone else, or them thinking a way about me that I don't want them to think, that I just completely lost sight of like my own values, my voice, all of that. So it was a journey, and I definitely don't think it really, really took hold. I'm 48, well, almost 48, I'm 47 now. And this all kind of was like in my late 30s and 40s. Like, so it was, you know, it was after a while. Like I went a lot of my adulthood like doing the dance, like just trying to, you know, keep up this, keep up with everyone else and the way they operated in the world. And then my late 30s and 40s, it was like, how do I show up as my most authentic self and not lose sight of the fact that my sensitivity is a strength? It's not something that I want to play down for anyone, but I also need to figure out what strong means for me, what assertive looks like for me, right? I just could never connect myself with that word. But as I'm a self-employed creative, and I realized that being so conflict-avoidant and so rejection sensitive was holding me back in my career. So I was like, I have to figure out what assertive, you know, what that looks like. There's so many things that it touches in so many different aspects of your life that you have to figure it out and accept that it's going to be a little bit uncomfortable and awkward figuring it out. But once you do, you gain a new level of courage and confidence that it's like a skill that you can build, it's a muscle you can build for sure over time.
April Snow: 17:03
I love this because it it's a good reminder that okay, A, it's not too late. Yeah. And B, just because it's awkward at first or you might fumble, it doesn't mean that you shouldn't keep going. Yeah. Right? There's something more grounded and comfortable on the other side where you know, like, okay, I'm in alignment with myself, with how I want to be. And that there are many versions of being assertive, direct, boundaried. You don't have to just do it the one way.
GG Renee Hill: 17:32
Yes.
April Snow: 17:32
Which is which is exciting, right? Because we don't have to be doormats. Yes, yes.
GG Renee Hill: 17:39
It's freeing, it's liberating, and it's very creative. And that's my like part of it that I love that I'm so obsessed with is that your creativity is a through line through all of this because in order for you to think differently about how you've been like conditioned to think, how you've become comfortable thinking, aligning with maybe your environment and your family or your culture, whatever it is, you have to draw on your creative muscles to learn how to like think differently. Like, well, how else can I think about this? How could I show up or define this for myself? What does it look like for me? You have to use your imagination a little bit, right? And you have to like get out of the box and the boundaries of like right and wrong and black and white, and just kind of like there's a whole spectrum here of how I can be. And I love words. So I took it as a challenge of like, I'm gonna find my own way of like expressing myself and using language, which I love and craft and all of that. And so I would often use writing as like my practice ground. Like I would almost like write my, I would write my truths, I would write this, you know, in my journal. Well, this didn't feel right. This is how I kind of want it to be. And I would kind of do the experimentation and writing and find my way to my values and what I really wanted to believe and how I wanted to show up. And then once I got some clarity there, I could then kind of take it off the page and practice it in real life. So that's how the creativity weaved into it for me. Everybody's different, right? And how they might use that, but that's how it was for me because I would often find that in the moment, our reactivity kicks in. And we, you know, so if you're confronted with a situation right in the moment, and you might feel like, okay, I've been noticing this thing that I want to change. I want to change how I respond to this person or I want to respond in this environment differently. But when you get there, emotions take over and you're like, oh, I did the same thing I always do. But I would like, I would notice that and I would take it back to my journal and I would write about it. And I would write, okay, here's how it went. And then partnering that with self-care, like mindfulness, like, how do I slow myself down to become less reactive? How do I pause in those uncomfortable moments so that I can remember, hey, I wrote about this, I've been working on this. How do I want to respond in this situation? And it just keeps taking that practice to come back to who you want to be, what that vision is of who you want to be, like what you picture as your best self. And you just literally start looking at life as like, oh, this is an opportunity to practice right now.
April Snow: 20:40
You know? Yes, exactly. I'm always telling my clients that whenever something from the past might come up or something doesn't go quite as they expect, and like, I know this is hard. And it's an opportunity to put some of these tools into practice.
GG Renee Hill: 20:54
Yeah.
April Snow: 20:54
Right? So I and I love this because we need that muscle memory as HSPs. We need to be able to walk ourselves through it before it actually happens or rewrite it after it happens. So I'm wondering, you know, those narratives that we have that, you know, our differences or our weakness, or we're too sensitive to be in the world, or we have these certain limitations. Can we work to reframe those stories as part of this process to maybe empower ourselves, to bolster ourselves for the next conflict or the next struggle? You know, how can that be part of that process, that healing process?
GG Renee Hill: 21:31
Yeah, we definitely can. I think one of the first steps is to notice, like notice what those narratives are. Like we first sometimes it starts off with just noticing patterns, right? There's certain patterns that might show up. I used to do this exercise in workshops where I said, notice certain patterns where you feel frustrated or limited in relationships at work or in maybe some third category, maybe in friendship dynamics or something like that, and see if you notice patterns across all three. So there's like this sort of becoming your own pattern noticer or whatever, right? You notice these patterns because that's like data. It's like it helps you to see, okay, these things are showing up. And then when you peel back that layer, so one of my patterns is thinking that was definitely in all of these different environments, I felt like I was shrinking. Like I needed to align my behavior and what I said to fit in with whatever the dominant narrative was. So if I was at work, then I would align with the, you know, sort of model what other people were doing in relationships. Even if I disagreed with my partner, I would kind of align, find the best way I could to align because I didn't want to cause an issue. Friendships, I might not agree with what's going on or what's being said, or feel like someone crossed my boundaries, but I felt, you know. So what is the storyline beyond that, right? The storyline is what are we telling ourselves in those moments? And if we're really honest with ourselves and notice that, we can see I'm telling myself that my opinion, my preferences, my values, my needs don't matter. I'm not worthy enough to take up space here. If I am seen as my true self, as this belief that I have or this value that I have that goes against the grain, I might lose my sense of belonging, I might lose love, I might lose safety. We're not thinking all that stuff in the moment. No, it's just kind of like, but if you sit, and for me, again, the practice is writing helps me peel these layers back. It could be in therapy, you peel back these layers. It could be in, you know, conversation with a trusted loved one or friend. But for me, it was writing. I'm just like peeling back the layers, peeling back the layers. What's at the root of this? Like, what am I telling myself that is causing me? Because our beliefs um are just like thoughts that we have that like we think them enough that it becomes this like rooted belief, right? And then our actions come from those beliefs. So at the root of these patterns and storylines is like that I'm not enough. Like I'm not content with myself, I'm not in tune with myself to feel safe unless everyone's approving of me and agreeing with me. So I have to bend myself all over the place, like and fawn all the time. And so, in order to change that narrative, I had to think about okay, what is at the root of that? It's really wanting to feel a sense of belonging, right? It's wanting to feel a sense of connection. What about my sensitivity? That could be perceived as a weakness, but what about my sensitivity could I perceive as a strength that allows me to connect and belong, right? So I thought about, I went, I looked over my life and I was like, you know, I really have a way of people come to me and talk to me in ways that they don't talk to others. Like they feel safe to open up, to talk about their feelings, to just put their guard down a little bit, and that creates a sense of connection. That creates a sense of belonging in that one-on-one or small group environment. And that's a strength. So I started looking at some of these qualities that I felt like, oh, these things make me weak or they make me fragile or whatever, and thinking about, well, these qualities also are strengths in these situations. So, and in order to really teach yourself to see it as a strength, you have to shift your attention a little bit more to how can I take this quality and find as many opportunities as possible to act on it as a strength? How can I put myself in environments and relationships where I can practice this dynamic and stand on it as a strength and be more assertive with it? And so for me, what that looked like was I was writing and I was doing the self-discovery work and I wanted to share it because people started to, oh, well, you know, what you wrote really resonated with me. Can you tell me more about how you got there? And I was like, oh, yes, I can tell you all the things. And I felt like, wow, they're valuing this part of me that I thought was a weakness or that I thought I had to hide. Let me see how I can carve out more space in my life for these activities, practices, environments where these qualities are valued and appreciated. And how do I shape my life to reflect that? And that can be scary and hard because a lot of times we're looking to be valued in places where we're kind of trying to fit a square, what is it, square box into a round hole?
April Snow: 26:54
Square peg into a round hole. Yeah.
GG Renee Hill: 26:58
So like at work, and I didn't even really realize I was doing at the time when I worked in corporate America, I worked in financial services. So I was praised for you know being organized and being helpful and I'm adaptable. I learned how to do my job well, but I wanted to bring more of that quality that I felt like I needed to hide into work. So I remember I started sending out these weekly motivational emails. I only did it for a little bit because I started to feel self-conscious about it and I stopped. But it was the beginnings of something. I wanted to say, like, okay, I don't feel like this job is really tapping into the best part of me, right? The part of me that helps people develop, helps people speak from their deeper selves. How do I bring that into this job where I'm like a client coordinator? Like, how do I do that? And I just started experimenting with ways to bring the qualities that I knew that I really valued and that made me feel alive and that made me feel inspired. How do I bring those qualities into these environments where they're not necessarily looking for that? But this is what I want to bring. This is my wholeness. This is my whole package. So whether it was my job or certain relationships, just little by little bringing that in. And to bring it back to your question of how we can kind of reshape those narratives, it's recognizing the strengths that are in those qualities and finding opportunities in your life to practice and to lead with those qualities so that your emphasis is more on the narratives that empower you, the characteristics, the developing narratives around these characteristics that empower you instead of the narratives that disempower you. And for the challenges, I'll say this real quick too. For the challenges, the other side of that is learning how to better take care of yourself, right? So you're not bypassing the fact that, yeah, sometimes being sensitive is just hard. And like you get your feelings hurt or you know, things happen, and there's these challenging aspects of it. Sometimes you do get taken advantage of, right? Like some people, there are just like the unpretty side of it. So how do you learn while you're focusing on your strengths and learning how to build your strengths, you also have to manage the shadow side where you learn how to take much better care of yourself, and that combination of things can then change the story you tell yourself about your sensitivity overall.
April Snow: 29:43
Yeah, you're really living that rewrite of the narrative.
GG Renee Hill: 29:47
Yes.
April Snow: 29:48
Yeah, I love that because it's all right. Just to layer it, okay. We definitely need to recognize that yeah, sometimes being sensitive is hard. We get easily overwhelmed. Like you said, we get our feelings hurt. But there's also these beautiful elements of being creative, intuitive, empathetic. And I love this idea of bring it forward wherever you are. Don't wait. Yeah. Yeah. Right? Because oftentimes people don't realize what we're capable of. We don't even realize it. But when they experience it, they usually love it. They love those moments of inspiration or extra care or us taking up a little bit more space. A lot of times it's not that people don't want us to take up space. We just don't do it. Hey, how about that? Yeah. Let yourself in. Yes. So I love that we're looking at both. We're looking at the struggles, we're looking at the strengths and recognizing what are the roots there, right? What touches everything and what's really important to you to bring forward? I'm wondering if you could walk us through an exercise around maybe how to work with some of those internalized messages. I know you have some resources in your new book, story work around this process. Is there one that would feel right to share in this moment? You can walk listeners through?
GG Renee Hill: 31:04
Yeah, I think there's one that's really actionable for listeners where it ties in with what we were just talking about, where you start off by maybe just making a list of those qualities and traits that have made you feel different, that have made you feel othered or challenged through your life. Just make a list, list them out. Even that can feel really cathartic and really good. Start there. And then you want to think about how have these things been challenging, right? Like make a list, not so much like situations, but just like how it makes you feel, you know, the challenges of it. And then make a list of how have these things also led to positive experiences, right? How do these qualities enrich my life? How do these qualities allow me to enrich the lives of others? What are the strengths that come with it? Right. And so sometimes in order to get to the strengths, because I've worked with clients before who were like, I can only think of the hard things. I can only think of the hard things. It's then sometimes a question that helps is like, okay, how else just ask yourself, how else can I look at this? What else can be true about this? What am I telling myself about this characteristic? And how else can I think about it? And that can lead you to the strengths, right? So you look at both, like realizing that it's like the two sides of a coin thing. Any quality that you name has a light side and a shadow side. Any quality. So I just want to think of an example of myself. One of the qualities that I love about being sensitive is how much I enjoy like art and music and creativity, and I can just get lost in these things and just daydream and be very whimsical. The shadow side of that is that for a long time it was very hard for me to get grounded. Especially when I started my creative career, I think that being in corporate grounded me and I just kind of shut down my creativity. So when I started this creative career, I was in the clouds, April. I was like, oh, this is awesome. I don't need any structure. I can just be free and float along. And the shadow side of that was like, I didn't have any structure. I didn't have anything to ground me. So there's two sides to everything. Like, so my creativity allows me to do this work and to come up with new services and new products and all these things that are great. But I need to ground myself as well so that I can have a business and so that I can pay my bills and make a living. That's just one example. But to be able to look at your strengths and the, I don't want to call them weaknesses, but the challenges from both sides and just name those things. So if you're listening, do this exercise, name the strength, name the quality, name the strengths that come with it, the challenges that come with it. And then I would suggest just doing some free journaling about how you can make room in your life for little habits to carve out more space to experiment with those strengths. Like, how are you holding back on the strengths? Like if you know you're really good at connecting with people, helping people, something like that, is that showing up in your life, right? Are you bringing that into your relationships and your job and the things you do? And if not, explore that. Just be really honest with yourself through some free journaling. And then on the other side where you're thinking about the challenges, how do you usually respond to those challenges? Are you avoidant? Are you running away from them? Are you just kind of like, well, I just won't do that thing? Or are there some things you could think about in terms of self-care to learn how to manage the challenges, right? So, you know, for my example, I felt like, well, if I create this structure, then it was gonna stifle my creativity and all of that. So the way I faced that challenge was to educate myself, right? And to like really learn as a neurodivergent thinker, and like, how can I develop myself? How can I learn maybe mindfulness practices? How can I learn some aspects about, you know, sort of getting very specific about the help I sought out? Like, I don't need to just be taking business classes, I need to be taking business classes for neurodivergent people, right? So it's getting very specific and knowing, hey, these are some challenges that I have. They don't have to be limitations, they can be things that I can learn how to develop myself and get help with and find my own unique way of addressing those concerns. So just like applying that to whatever your challenges are, whatever causes you to feel overwhelmed or those limitations, everything's figure outable, everything you can navigate, right? And find out a way to deal with it. And one of the things I say in the book is that question any narrative that you have or any belief that you have that leaves no room for creativity or hope. Like it's just like, nope, I can't do this, period. If you feel yourself in that all or nothing space, it's time to soften that and get curious about it. Like, well, I think I could get a little bit more curious with this and see if there's another way I can look at this. And it starts to open the door to possibilities that maybe you'd never considered before.
April Snow: 36:37
Yeah, it's true. I love zooming in on certain qualities because it really does pull so much out of it of oh, this uh highlights not just a challenge, but an opportunity of where I can take up more space and step more into myself. Yeah. Like something I've been working on is just letting my empathy be big, my care for people be big, because a lot of times I've held that back because people are like, oh, it's too much, or what if they think it's too much? And I'm just more forthcoming with it. Like I'm a very empathetic, caring person, and I just want to love everyone in my life big, and that's okay. But I love that piece around if it feels stuck or if it feels stagnant where there's no room, some things out. There's a block to be curious about that. Yeah, yeah. Look a little closer at that. Yeah, I think this is just a beautiful unfolding and just getting to know ourselves more as sensitive people and we really try to put our, you know, align ourselves with how other people are showing up, and it just doesn't work for us. Let's rewrite the script. Yes, make our own rules. I really appreciate that.
GG Renee Hill: 37:43
And community helps with that so much. If you can find even just one person who you can connect with on that level of high sensitivity, you feel seen, you feel heard, and you feel normalized. Like this is okay. And then it gives you confidence to take your way of being out into the world and not apologize for it anymore. And to your point, like feeling like, oh, my empathy is too much, I have to hide it in these environments. That is one of those things that we can test out and say, instead of shrinking away from this, what would happen? Think of it as a superpower and not something weird, not a weakness, but like this is my superpower. I had a therapist say that to me. And even though at the time I had that language somewhere in my universe already of like turn your weaknesses into superpowers, when she said it, it just hit me in the chest in such a way. She said, We were talking about sensitivity and how you know the kind of a conversation we're having here. And she said, you know, my family used to always give me a hard time for being so empathetic and so sensitive. And I told them, that's my superpower, and I'm not gonna apologize for it. And I was like, you know what? Yes. Like, I think if you have this underlying belief that, and it always goes back to that underlying belief, if you're still harboring that underlying belief that you sneakily do think it is a weakness, and you sneakily do think it makes you less than or othered, then when people give you that feeling that you're doing too much, it just it you almost look at it as like, oh, there's evidence again that I'm doing too much, right? Right. But if you work on that inner belief, that inner narrative, and that knowing, trusting yourself that no, this is a gift, this is a superpower, then people can say that and it just kind of it kind of blows over you in a different way. Like, you know, this you don't need everybody to get it because you have given yourself the affirmation, the self-affirmation you need, and maybe you have a few key people in your life that really see you and affirm that for you. Like that's where community comes in. And it just doesn't bother you, the people who don't get it quite as much.
April Snow: 40:02
It's funny because I've seen people step into that empowered space of being a sensitive person, and it works out really well most of the time.
GG Renee Hill: 40:11
Yeah, yeah. It's just the getting over that initiation fear of doing it and changing it and showing up differently. And the thing that I think that really helps, in addition to community, is self-care. And I know self-care is like it can be just like this word that has a lot of different people here and sometimes think like pampering and all of that. When I say self-care, I'm talking about like really deeply affirming yourself through and pouring into yourself, like filling your cup with healthy practices that make you feel really good about who you are, right? Taking care of yourself, taking walks, moving your body, eating well, like have this machine, this body, right? The more we give it what it like, the spiritual physical connection is very real. So the more we give it what it needs, the more we feel like I like who I am. I'm taking care of myself, I know myself, I know what my needs are. I know that when I'm operating in this fully like in my wholeness, that I feel stronger, I feel more impactful and all of that. And you don't feel as wobbly. I felt much more wobbly in when I wasn't taking as good care of myself and I allow people's opinions, and I really was craving acceptance and validation to make me feel strong or to make me feel worthy, to make me feel like I belonged, because I wasn't giving that affirmation to myself. So I know that you know, now from years of practice, if I do start to feel wobbly like that again, that means I need to center myself. Like what you ask myself, what do I need? I need to take a walk, put my pods on, maybe listen to my favorite podcast or some music, something that makes me remember who I am and what energizes me. And then I can go back out into these environments where everybody doesn't have to get me because I get myself. So if you're listening and you're like, okay, I feel like scared to really show up this way and to just own myself, like that self-acceptance has to come first. You have to really find that within yourself. And a lot of times the way we take care of ourselves and give ourselves those experiences and habits and practices that make us feel like ourselves, that helps to get us there.
April Snow: 42:36
Oh, it really does. And if we can just spend more time with ourselves, going inward, taking care of ourselves. And it doesn't have to be complicated, it can be as simple as going for a walk, listening to your favorite music, moving your body a little bit, or you know, getting into bed earlier, or nourishing your body with some good food, whatever, whatever works for you is because I always remind HSPs, a little bit goes a long way. We don't need a lot to feel a big impact. So it's a good reminder to you know, just pour back into yourself a little bit, you know, check in. What do I need? What's going on in the background for me? Right? What what what are the stories that are influencing how I think and feel about myself? Yeah, there's just so much there to uncover. So, Gigi, I'm wondering as we start to wrap up, if there's any last messages you have for the HSPs who are listening who are in the process of finding their strengths and rewriting those differences and trying to kind of reclaim their personal stories. Is there anything that you want to leave them with before we end?
GG Renee Hill: 43:38
Yeah, there is. I want to two things, and we sort of touched it on part of this already, and that is it's okay to be uncomfortable. It's okay for the process you're going through right now to be uncomfortable, and that's not a sign that you're doing it wrong. That's a sign that you're doing it right. You're growing, and it's going to be uncomfortable. It's okay. And the other thing is that many of your listeners might relate to sometimes the feeling of maybe being a late bloomer is being sensitive. I find that to be a theme. I know I feel that way, that I didn't really start to find myself and understand myself and take action in a really authentic way in my life until, like I said, my late 30s, early 40s, because I just, you know, had these stories I was telling myself about what my limitations were. So I would encourage anyone who's listening to really sit down with yourself and practice that honesty and curiosity to say, what is your vision for your life? What makes you happy? What energizes you? And allow it to go against the grain of what you've been told your life should look like. And that can be scary because that can invite change in your relationships and your different situations, but develop a creative vision. And that was super powerful for me. Again, I used to work in corporate America. And when I sat down and said, you know, a vision of my future self, like if I didn't have these fears and these limitations that I thought would hold me back, what would my life look like? And I'm so grateful and honored to say that my life looks like that now. Because that future self-narrative that I wrote was I see myself spending my days writing and creating, working with other creatives, helping people find their purpose and grow and be themselves and consuming art, creating art, having a flexible schedule. There's all these things that seemed so outlandish actually. I was like, this is impossible. Like, there's no way I could do this, right? Because at the time I was full-time, I had small children, and like my life was so structured to follow this blueprint of what I thought it had to look like, what it was supposed to look like. But I just said, let me just use my imagination and what would my relationships feel like? How could I show up in the world down to like how I would wear my hair, how I would dress, like get really vivid with a creative vision for your life if you did not think that your sensitivity was a limitation, right? And let that vision evolve over time as you continue to feel your way into little incremental changes you can make over time to maybe bring that vision to life bit by bit by bit, just a little bit over time. And you might as well, the time is gonna pass anyway. So, like there's no rush. Like set your own pace and just start pulling it in a little by little. And you can be really surprised over time you look back and say, Hey, like I changed the course of my life in a way that didn't disrupt you don't have to completely disrupt your nervous system and turn your life upside down, but just start allowing yourself to embrace that there's a vision for your life and for yourself that you have, and you might find yourself in a place that you never could have imagined. So I would definitely want to leave people with that reminder that you're still writing the story, right? You're the writer of your story, and the storylines that that make you feel stuck don't have to be the end all be all. You can start crafting storylines of like, well, what if I did this? What if I brought in a little bit of this? What if I did a little bit of that, and that starts to can start to shift things?
April Snow: 47:23
I love that. You're the writer of your own story. That's right. That's such a good takeaway. Like, and there's so much good on the other side of that, right? Just once you start writing and line by line, you don't have to write a whole book. Just start with one chapter, start with one paragraph. It because I think we do get overwhelmed and think, well, I can't I can't do that today. But what if you took one small step?
GG Renee Hill: 47:50
Yes.
April Snow: 47:51
Like you, like what if I start sending out some motivational emails, and then that'll connect me a little bit deeper into the true work I want to be doing. Right? Or what if I let myself be a little bit more creative, even maybe even in my own journal?
GG Renee Hill: 48:04
That's right.
April Snow: 48:05
And then maybe eventually that comes out into the world. But it's just a good, a good reminder that we don't have to figure it all out at once. Just lean in a little bit. Yeah, to that what you know, what's truly calling to you. Yeah. Thank you for that. Well, Gigi, this has been just a really beautiful conversation. And I just want to thank you again. I will, for folks who want to get in touch with you, I'll share your website, your social media, your new book in the show notes. Can you tell us a little bit more about Story Work?
GG Renee Hill: 48:35
Yes. So Story Work is very much along the lines of what we talked about today. It's understanding the stories we tell ourselves. And I also get into concepts and mindset shifts and actions we need to take to reevaluate our narratives, to change those narratives so that we are leaning into storylines that empower us and move us forward and bring us closer to our creative vision for our lives versus disempowering us and having us feel stuck. And I use examples from my own life. Like I mentioned, I grew up with an undiagnosed mentally ill mother, and I've developed a lot of limited beliefs and storylines, victim narratives as a result of that, thinking that I had to stay in this box my whole life to because I was just too fragile and I was too damaged. And that led me to a dark place. And right, so so many of us have different circumstances and experiences that show up in our adult lives. We don't always make the connection. So I started making the connection between struggles I was facing in my adult life and taking them back to where they began. And so by reframing my life experiences, I was able to find meaning and life lessons and ways that I could grow from them instead of seeing them as limitations. And so the book like asked you to look at your life experiences not as these plot points of like this happened and this is how I look at it, and that's what it is, but as this is my creative material that I get to work with. I can choose how this impacts me and what I do with it, right? So it's asking you to look at your life as creative material and it's giving you tools and exercises to do that with. So I highly recommend for anyone who has felt different or othered or stuck in that story, there's a lot of tools there and a lot of personal stories from my life that can help you realize you're not alone and there's a way to see your way through that.
April Snow: 50:38
I love that. I mean, as a therapist, that gets me really excited because I that's it's such deep therapeutic work that is so important for everybody to get to those roots, right? Looking under the surface. Where are these messages coming from? Why am I holding myself back? Why am I not taking up more space in my own life? And it's often it's stories we're telling ourselves. Yeah, so to have a kind of a roadmap through that process that you can take your time with. So important. Yeah. Thank you so much. Absolutely. Thanks so much for joining me and Gigi for today's conversation. I hope it inspires you to journey inward and start rewriting your own stories. You can find Gigi's new book, Story Work, wherever you find your books. The link is also in the show notes. If you enjoyed this episode, subscribe to the Sensitive Stories podcast so you don't miss our upcoming conversations. Reviews and ratings are also helpful and appreciated. For behind the scenes content and more HSB resources, you can sign up for my email list or follow Sensitive Strengths on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Check out the show notes or sensitivestories.com for all the resources from today's episode. Thanks for listening.
